Oddity
by Ze Cheshire Cat
Summary: I’m the king of hypocrites. I’m a jerk and an ass, but she likes me! She actually freaking likes me. How the hell? I mean! Sometimes I just want to grab her by the shoulders and shake her till her brains fall out. Hikaru Thoughts.


Oddity

* * *

Just so you know, this is my first attempt at Ouran Host. I don't think I portrayed it exactly how I wanted the theme of hypocritical guilt to come across, but I tried. This is simply a midnight dreary.

* * *

"It's really odd," Hikaru mused. _I honestly can't see how she can like me.'_

The host leaned up against a pillar, waiting outside his school for no reason in particular. Well, there was a reason, but it was a strange one. It was a long story.

'_I mean, really. She's a weirdo. She's nothing like other girls… not that I'm normal myself but that's beside the point.'_ His lips pursed into a frown. Hazel eyes trailed across the school building, glancing briefly into each window. His reflection was caste in one and he grimaced at himself. '_I'm an awful person. Why the hell does she like me?'_

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he glared at the particular window. _'I really can be a jerk, sometimes. Sure people like me, but I'm a down right asshole. I mean… if I wasn't me, I'd probably hate me.'_

'_Well, no. That's a lie. I'm pretty freaking cool. I'd hang out with me, but secretly think that I am an asshole. I wonder if that's what the guys think…. Bah! Who cares?'_ Hikaru huffed indignantly, his arms crossing roughly over his chest.

'_But… I can be a jerk. I think I made her cry once, not sure though. I didn't mean to, but what could I do? Girls can be such a pain, sometimes.'_ His eyes drew away from the window, scanning the courtyard. Numerous girls in the obnoxious, yellow school dress were flittering about. There were so many!

'_At least she's not all that girly girly. Actually, she's pretty decent. She can be a wreck of hormones at times, but usually she's okay… Better than okay…'_

'_So why me? I'm a jerk. Most people think I'm gay! Why the hell does she keep smiling at me?'_ His hand gripped at his tie, clenching the fabric between his digits. _'No matter how rude I am to her, how much of a jerk I am to others, and how cruel I can be…_'

'_Sometimes I hate myself. Looking at her, I do hate myself a lot. I really am a jerk, treating people like play things. But! So does he! She absolutely adored him at first and I was jealous, yeah, but whatever. I'd live. We practically the same but he just trashed her feelings. Sometimes I wonder if I would have done the same….'_ Glancing towards the school doors, knowing that she was somewhere inside the interior. He shook his head with determination. 'I won't.'

'_He shouldn't have done that to her. People shouldn't treat others like that, like…. Like toys!'_ Wincing, he scowled at the irony. _'I seriously am a hypocrite.'_

'_But... I don't want him to be like that. She adored him, maybe even more than she likes me. She almost worshipped the guy! And we're a lot alike yeah, but he's much worse than I am! He's practically a monster.' _

Shaking his head sadly, he hoped desperately that Kaoru would never become that low. _'I'm the king of hypocrites. I'm a jerk and an ass, but she likes me! She actually freaking likes me. How the hell? I mean! Sometimes I just want to grab her by the shoulders and shake her till her brains fall out and scream at her: _How can you be so stupid!? _Can't you see how awful I am? I'm not like other guys. I'm a devil and I know it and rejoice in it. Hell, I'd change for you if I could. I want to change, because you deserve a nice guy, but sorry. I'm realistic. I can't change. I'm too far gone! I'm so set into this path of internal spite that there's no turning back. There might be a chance for him…. For Kaoru… but I'm too damn stubborn. There's no way I can be fixed.'_

'_So why do you keep smiling at me?'_

Sighing deeply, he turned his gaze away from Ouran High. It was a painful reminder that she would soon be meeting with him. He would have to suffer through her infallible kindness and wonder how much he was hurting her with his rotten self. _'Maybe I am no better than he is… Although he has it a lot better off than I do. He could have the world at his fingertips if he just tried a little. He could have the world and he could have her, too.'_

Peering back to the school, his eyes searched for the one who called his name. There she was, running at his as fast as her skinny legs would allow. She ran up to his side, panting heavily as she skidded to a stop. Her clothing was changed, probably the reason for her taking so long. Rather than the school uniform, she was in fairly boyish clothes. It almost looked like cosplay. His lips drew out a smile, "Renge…"

The bubbly girl beamed up at him. "Sorry! Class ran way late. Thanks for waiting, though." He smiled, looping an arm around her shoulders. _'Maybe I am nothing more than a jerk… but if she likes me, that's her problem. I'm going to keep her around for as long as I can.'_

'_Kyouya had his chance.'_

* * *

Teehee. Gotta love those surprise endings. I bet a lot of you believed it was Haruhi, which it was originally meant to be. But… I didn't want it to be just another "Haruhi's too good for me" kind of fic, so I threw in a catch. Surprise endings can change the entire story around and I just love that kind of affect. I hope you liked it, too.


End file.
